The Battle: Fear Vs: Faith

This summer I was offered a job at Braeside camp working in the kitchen. I was told that I had to respond as to if I will take the job by May 31st --aka today.  Meanwhile, I have been living at my parents in Collingwood and discovering that I love it hear. I have made some awesome friends here and am helping lead the young adult group. The thought of moving to Braeside to live alone and start all over again makes me sad. So, I have been applying for jobs around Collingwood but doors just keep slamming in my face. I have been wondering what I am doing wrong. I can't even land a job as a camp counselor. I was given an interview for an awesome job in my parent's backyard but they told me that I wouldn't find out if I got it until today or tomorrow. So I have been waiting and praying.


This past week, with the deadline to notify Braeside rapidly approaching, has been a challenging one. I have been wavering between where I should work/live. I didn't want to give up the job at Braeside in the event that I could not find a job here. Last night at church I realized that I have been holding onto the Braeside job as a safety net and that I wanted to go there because I am fearful of the good that could come with staying here. I also recognized that I did not want to make a decision because I am afraid of making a mistake. I have been letting fear rule me.


1 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."


So, I have decided to let go of my safety net and trust God to provide a job. It's so hard to trust God because that fearful voice keeps whispering to me -- but a spirit of fear is not of God. I am choosing to step out in faith and have a little trust in God. Please pray for me that I would not longer be held back by fear but rather that I would live my life with faith. 

The Heavenly Man

I have been reading this book, "The Heavenly Man," and it is wrecking me. Honestly, I don't know if I would be able to handle being persecuted for my faith, to the same degree as this man has done, and still be faithful. Not only that but this man prayed and fasted just to receive a copy of the Bible and then committed to memory. If you want to be challenged in your faith, I highly recommend reading this book!

Home Sweet Home!?!

Dad and I arrived home safely. We stopped in Burlington for a day to spend time with my sisters and their families. Then, we headed to Collingwood and family friends from Texas came to spend the weekend with us. It was really nice to spend time with them. I also started a course on Teaching English as a Second Language which will happen over the weekends this month. Needless to say, I am exhausted. Now, it is time to inaugurate the job hunt.

As a side note: I have seen more snow here in Ontario since being back then I saw all winter in Abbotsford. It's MAY! How does that add up?!

New Adventure

School is out for the season and I am on my way home. Dad flew out for my graduation and to drive home with me. The weather has been crazy and we have driven through rain, wind, and snow. Can you believe it?! I have seen more snow on this journey home then I did all winter in Abbotsford. Here are some pictures so far:

Thank You!

Today I was thinking about you -- about all of you who pray for me, encourage me, think about me, care about me. I am so grateful for you! I received another card in the mail today and it just overwhelms me as to how amazing of a support network you are. Thank you for your encouragement! Thank you for your prayers!


As a quick update, I will be returning to school here next year for another year doing general Bible courses. I will also be a Residents Assistant. Please pray that God would use to me to encourage, love, and challenge the girls on my residence wing next year.


As for the summer, I still do not know what I will be doing. I have sent out several resumes but I have not received any responses. Regardless, the plan is to return to Ontario so that I can spend some time with my family as I really miss them. Please pray that the Lord will show me what He wants me to do this summer and that He will open up that door.


Finally, school is winding down for the year. Exams start next week. Please remember me in prayer that I would finish strong. Please also pray that through the stressful period I would continue to fix my eyes on Jesus and encourage others to do so too. 


In conclusion for today:
"The LORD bless you 
       and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you
       and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
       and give you peace."
 ~ Numbers 6:24-26 ~

Psalm 37

Lately I have been wondering how much more I can handle in terms of the junk that happens in this world. My heart breaks every time I hear about someone getting raped or another child trafficked or molested, etc. I get angry and I wonder why God lets it happen.

Anyways, today I was reading Psalm 37:1-20 and it really spoke to me:

 ¹ Do not fret because of evil men 
       or be envious of those who do wrong;
 ² for like the grass they will soon wither,
       like green plants they will soon die away.
 ³ Trust in the LORD and do good;
       dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
 ⁴ Delight yourself in the LORD
       and he will give you the desires of your heart.
 ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;
       trust in him and he will do this:
 ⁶ He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
       the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
 ⁷ Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
       do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
       when they carry out their wicked schemes.
 ⁸ Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
       do not fret—it leads only to evil.
 ⁹ For evil men will be cut off,
       but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
 ¹⁰ A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
       though you look for them, they will not be found.
 ¹¹ But the meek will inherit the land
       and enjoy great peace.
 ¹² The wicked plot against the righteous
       and gnash their teeth at them;
 ¹³ but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
       for he knows their day is coming.
 ¹⁴ The wicked draw the sword
       and bend the bow
       to bring down the poor and needy,
       to slay those whose ways are upright.
 ¹⁵ But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
       and their bows will be broken.
 ¹⁶ Better the little that the righteous have
       than the wealth of many wicked;
 ¹⁷ for the power of the wicked will be broken,
       but the LORD upholds the righteous.
 ¹⁸ The days of the blameless are known to the LORD,
       and their inheritance will endure forever.
 ¹⁹ In times of disaster they will not wither;
       in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.
 ²⁰ But the wicked will perish:
       The LORD's enemies will be like the beauty of the fields,
       they will vanish—vanish like smoke.

Isn't this an awesome reminder that God is more powerful than Satan and evil will be defeated!

3 Things In the Past 24 Hours Worth Mentioning

1. My Broken Heart

So last night on facebook I saw this link of a newscast on the sex trade in Cambodia. It's just so real and heartbreaking. (Note, the places shown were two of the places I was supposed to help, but that didn't work out.) I think I have a more difficult time dealing with the sex trafficking stuff now that I am at home then I did there. I think I may be experiencing a slight burn out. It breaks my heart and makes me scream "why God?" Tonight someone asked for prayer for a family friend who had been raped and all I could do was fall to my knees and moan. Somehow, I have to choose to entrust those girls to God and trust that somehow He will reign over the situation. If you haven't watched the video yet, watch it. And, please remember the girl who was raped and her family in prayer as well as those mentioned in the video and the countless others.

Cambodia Children Sold Into Slavery - ABC News

2. Awesome Opportunity to Feast on Other's Brains

So today there was a special PAOC deliberation at the school where a bunch of big wigs gathered to discuss a redefining of the term 'pentecostal.' At first I went only because my professor cancelled our class to give us the opportunity to sit in the back and listen. But it was so interesting that I stayed for the whole thing. They discussed how the identity of Pentecostals has vs: hasn't become obsolete, and if there is a need to define Pentecostal and how it should be defined. Anyways, it was very intellectually stimulating and it was an honor to get to participate. 

3. The Blessing of a Church Family

This evening I attended the weekly Bible study at my church for the first time. It felt so good to attend and be a part of the intimate gathering of the church. It was so insightful and you get to know the people way better. We also ended with an awesome time of prayer that brought back old childhood memories of listening in on the church prayer meetings my parents attended. Then a couple came in off the street asking for food so my friend offered to take them to McDonalds. Many people from the meeting started putting money in her hand to pay for it. Then the pastor decided to show up at McDonalds to join us after he locked up the church. It was a really good demonstration of leading through example. It just reminded me of how good it feels to be connected to a church.