I realize that I haven't exactly written from my heart much lately. 2010 has been a difficult year for me so far. At the beginning of January I prayed asking God to open up old wounds that have not healed properly and bring complete healing. I was actually praying this for the whole student body...but God seemed to have answered this prayer in my own life.
Since returning to school in January I was told that I potentially have celiac disease. Celiac disease is a severe allergy to wheat and gluten. One of the symptoms of this disease is depression. Basically, the more you eat the food you are allergic to, the more you destroy your small intestine so that it is unable to absorb any nutrients. So now I have to watch what I eat and work on self control. As long as I stick to the rules I feel great... but it is really hard to stick to the rules when everyone around you is enjoying cookies, muffins, delicious bread and so on.
To add the physical battle, the door for me to return to Cambodia with PAOC has closed. I know God has a reason for this and I am praying to see what He wants for me. Nonetheless, this closed door has ripped open a wound in my heart and brought out a lot of nastiness that I wish was not in me. I am trying to learn to just TRUST GOD. When living at Wakil (where I lived during university) we used to always say "trust and wait." Well that is a lesson that I have to learn again and again and again.
Well that is the ugly truth about what has been going on with me this year. Thank you for all your prayers!
Love, Beca
1 comment:
Rebecca, I am so proud of how mature you are! Yes, it may hurt right now to have that wound opened, but God is a heart surgeon with the most gentle hands! He will operate on your heart and bring true healing. Thank you for sharing so openly. I love you! Michelle Stefanov
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