Identity!

Who am I? How did I become the person that I am today? What has shaped me? This week our lectures were on identity and it was a really good reminder of who I am. It is so easy for us to look to others to shape who we are- to constantly seek the approval of others. Past hurts and feelings of rejections, unforgiveness, and bitterness take root in our lives and begin to shape who we are. 

A couple of months ago i was at the gym doing some stretches and I looked into the mirror and I did not like the person looking back at me. I saw all my flaws. My eyes were void of joy. I felt trapped and disappointed with life. I wondered how I got to this place. How did I lose my joy for life? How did I become this person that I didn't like looking back at me in the mirror? I remember crying to God to restore His joy in me and to help me be the person He wants me to be. 

This week really spoke to me. The core message was that our value has to be found in God. It's a simple Sunday school message but it was a good reminder. I don't need to find acceptance by constantly doing things and trying to achieve and impress. I don't have to prove myself to anyone because I am loved and accepted by God. I have listened to all the negative words spoken over me and have worked so hard to try to prove that they are wrong. I was told I was lazy, selfish, stupid etc... some were lies i told myself. I have been living my life trying to prove that these lies are wrong. I felt like a failure in relationships so I felt like I needed to prove that I was strong and could do it on my own. To show that I wasn't lazy I tried working hard and taking on more then I could handle because then everyone could see that I am not lazy. In the end I just felt like a failure because I could not live up to my own expectations for myself. I became a miserable person who would lash out at those I loved the most. 

It is freeing to know that my identity is received not achieved. "In all of this, i remember that success or failure changes nothing about who I am... I must remember that my sin means I couldn't prove myself worthy even if I wanted to, but that Jesus has done everything for me. There is nothing for me to prove to anyone if I am in Christ." (Author unknown)

Tag der Deutschen Einheit

Yesterday we celebrated the anniversary of the reunification of East and West Germany. In our castle evening a couple people shared their experience growing up in the east. They shared about the role of prayer in bringing about this change in their nation. One person brought a piece of the wall to show us. It was really cool to share in celebrating the day of unity. I am so grateful for the freedom I have known.

International Evening

I love the fact that I live with people from all over the world. It is so cool. Tonight we celebrated the different nations represented among us at the castle including Germany, Switzerland, Canada, Nigeria, Ethiopia, Russia, India, and the Cook Islands. Each country provided their own food and a number of people dressed up in traditional garb. It was fun. My fellow Canadian and I put on some winter gear. Somehow we have managed to acquire the title "crazy Canadians."

Hearing God's Voice

This week the emphasis for out DTS has been in learning to hear God's voice. It has been cool because a lot of time has been spent in worship and prayer which I love. Yesterday was a little different as we had to break into small groups and take turns standing in the center. The group would then pray and ask God for words for that person. I was very skeptical  at first but then it my turn to be spoken over and it was crazy how the things that were spoken lined up with what God had already been telling me.

On a different note, in October our team will be going on a mini outreach to Sicily which is exciting. For my main outreach in December I will be going with half of our group to the Islands, one of which will be Aruba, so I guess I will be spending my 30th birthday in the Caribbean. 

As a praise report I have been able to cook for myself here at the castle and so I have been doing really well physically. Please pray for me regarding when we go on outreach as I do not know what I will do for food or how my body will handle it--healing would be nice too.

Thanks for your prayers.

A couple pics

Here are a couple pictures of the castle. The first is of the part where we have our lectures located on the upper level. The second picture is a random shot of part of the castle. The third picture is the view of the village of Hurlach taken from the gym at the very top of the castle. Enjoy!

Welcome to the castle

Guten Tag!

As most people who will read this know, I am now in Germany to do a DTS with YWAM. Since arriving on Saturday, life is starting to get into a routine. I share a room with 7 other girls. It's actually not so bad--at least not yet. This week we have a guest speaker from Australia sharing with us on discipleship. At first I wondered how I would find the lecture sessions with my seminary background,  yet I find it rather refreshing to approach the Bible with faith that what it says will happen. Already I feel like God is starting to do some surgery on my heart revealing areas that I need Him to change. I think it will be a valuable 6 months.

As far as my diet goes, they have allowed me to use the staff kitchen to make my own meals. While the food everyone eats looks good its nice not to have to worry about being sick. One benefit of doing this is that it gives me the opportunity to get to know some of the staff on the base.

All in all it has been good. I will keep you posted on some of the things I am learning and life here at the castle.

Holiday Update

I realize that I have not written an update since the beginning of the summer so this is a little over due.

I had the opportunity to do an internship in New Liskeard this past summer as an assistant pastor at the baptist church. It was a great experience and I loved my time there. It was really nice to spend the summer with my Grandma and Uncle as I normally do not get to see them all that often. At the church,I was responsible for the senior high youth group as the couple that normally oversee it were away. The youth were really awesome and I still miss them. Nonetheless, it was a stretching experience. I also helped run VBS, help out with the junior high youth program, and fill in for the pastor when he was away. In the process I discovered that I love preaching. I guess I should not be too surprised as I used to get comments on my mini sermon'ettes many years ago. All in all it was a really great summer and I went home with mixed feelings.

While I was away, my home church in Collingwood experienced a small transition and was in need of a youth pastor. The evening before I got a call asking me if I was interested, I was up at night praying about it even though I did not think there was a chance that it would be offered to me. It was really awesome how it all worked out and I started as soon as I arrived home from New Liskeard. That being said, I am now in my fourth month of youth ministry in Collingwood. I love it but it has its challenges. The cool thing is that I know that this is where God wants me for this season in my life. It has been stretching as I have also been doing school full time as I work towards my Masters of Theological Studies and I have been working at Pita Pit too. It has been a very full semester and I am now rejoicing at the idea of a break--at least from school--for a couple of weeks.

Prayer Requests:
Please keep me in your prayers that I would have wisdom for leading the youth group and that the kids would encounter God and grow in their love for Him.  Please also pray that God would send some people to help with the youth as we are in need of some more volunteers. Please also pray for continued safety as I commute back and forth between Collingwood and Hamilton each week.

Praise Reports:
We have seen a number of the kids want to know God and desire to have a Bible to read and so on. I am really excited to see the little things that God is doing in our youth!

I pray that you have an amazing Christmas!
Love, Beca